"Hullo" - Slam

[Slam]

I'm very bad at introductions, so I'll just grab the transcripts of some TF2 videos and change them to my fitting. I guess I'm all of this combined:

Meet the Slam [Scout]:

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Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?
D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?
Basically - kind of a big deal!
Ya' listenin'? OK. Tall grass grows, Pidgeys fly, Solorock shines, and brotha'- *pokes the camera* I catch pokemon.
I'm a Power a' Nature!
If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' caught!
Woooo!

Meet the Slam [Soldier]:

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If battling is sure to result in victory, then you must battle!' Prof. Oak said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about battling than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living trainer could best him in the Pokémon League.
Then, he used his fight money *takes out two Pokeballs from his jacket* to buy two of every Pokemon on earth, and then he herded them onto S.S Anne *demonstrates by using the Pokeballs, moving them in a walking motion* and then he beat the crap out of every single one.
And from that day forward any time a bunch of Pokemon are together in one place it's called a 'Safari'!

Unless it's a DAYCARE

Meet the Slame [Engineer]:

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Hey look, buddy, I'm a Skier. That means I solve problems.
Not problems like "What is the total basic stat of Turtwig?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of strategy.
I solve practical problems.
Fr'instance...
How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing the graphics a structurally superfluous new hole in it's awesomeness?
The answer... Is painting pixels.
And if that doesn't work, paint more pixels!
Like this heavy megapixel, tripod-colored, little ol' sprite sheet designed by me...
Made by me...
And you best hope...

Used by you...

Meet the Slam [Sniper]

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Training's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry, cause at the end of the day, long as there's two Pokemon's left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone beaten...

I'll be honest with ya: I do not care for it.

Grinding'? Look mate, you know who do a lot of grinding?
Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a League trophy. Professionals have standards.
Be polite.
Be efficient.
Have a plan to beat everyone you meet.

Meet the Slam [Heavy]

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I am SlamBamActionman...and this *holds up Pokeball* is my Feraligatr. *releases Feraligatr* He weighs 195.8lbs and uses 10000 Pokedollar, custom-tooled TMs at first turn per round. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to feed this Pokemon...for twelve seconds.
Oh my God, who touched my Rare Candy? Alright...Who touched my stuff!?
Some people think they can outsmart my Pokemon. Maybe, maybe. I've yet to meet one that can outsmart logic.

So well yeah. Put all that in a bundle, and you get me. Kinda.